When does stress become burnout?

Stress is a normal part of life. Work deadlines, caring responsibilities, financial pressures, relationship difficulties and major life changes can all place demands on us. A certain amount of stress can even help us respond to challenges.

But what happens when the pressure doesn't seem to stop?

You might find yourself constantly tired, struggling to switch off, becoming more irritable or finding it increasingly difficult to enjoy things you normally would. You may feel as though you're running on empty but still can't slow down.

At some point, you might start wondering: "Is this just stress, or am I experiencing burnout?"

What is the difference between stress and burnout?

Stress and burnout can overlap, and there isn't always a clear point where one suddenly becomes the other.

Stress often happens when we feel that the demands being placed on us are greater than the resources we have available to deal with them. When the source of stress reduces, we may begin to recover.

Burnout can develop when high levels of stress and pressure continue over time without enough opportunity for recovery. It can leave us feeling physically and emotionally exhausted and increasingly disconnected from work, responsibilities or activities that once mattered to us.

Burnout isn't simply about being tired after a difficult week. It can involve a more persistent pattern of exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed and struggling to feel engaged or motivated.

What might burnout feel like?

Burnout can look different from person to person. Some people notice that they are:

• Exhausted even after sleeping or taking time off

• Finding it difficult to concentrate or make decisions

• More irritable, frustrated or emotionally reactive

• Losing motivation or feeling detached from work or other responsibilities

• Finding activities they normally enjoy less rewarding

• Constantly thinking about everything they need to do

• Feeling guilty when they rest

• Struggling to set boundaries or say no

• Relying on weekends or holidays just to recover enough to start again

You might also notice that your physical health is being affected. Stress and burnout can be associated with difficulties such as disrupted sleep, headaches, muscle tension or changes in appetite.

These experiences can be signs that your current demands and your opportunities for recovery are out of balance. They can also have other causes, so persistent or concerning physical or psychological symptoms should be discussed with an appropriate healthcare professional.

Why can stress and burnout be so difficult to break out of?

One reason is that the behaviours that help us cope in the short term can sometimes make things harder in the long term.

Imagine that you have a demanding workload. You might think:

"I just need to get through this week."

So you work late, skip breaks and continue working at the weekend.

You might temporarily feel better because you're getting things done and reducing the number of tasks on your list.

But without enough time to recover, your energy gradually decreases. The next week feels harder, so you work even longer hours or put more pressure on yourself.

The cycle can look like this:

Over time, this can become difficult to interrupt.

Why is resting sometimes so difficult?

For some people, the problem isn't knowing that they need to rest. It's allowing themselves to rest.

You might have thoughts such as:

• "I should be doing something productive."

• "Everyone else seems to manage."

• "I'll rest when everything is finished."

• "If I slow down, I'll fall behind."

• "I haven't done enough today."

• "I can't let people down."

If you believe that resting means you're being lazy or unproductive, you may continue pushing yourself even when you're exhausted.

This can create a difficult cycle:

Breaking this cycle isn't simply about finding more time to relax. It can involve changing the way we think about productivity, responsibility and recovery.

What role does perfectionism play?

Perfectionism can sometimes contribute to ongoing stress.

You might set very high standards for yourself and feel that anything less than your best isn't good enough. You may spend excessive amounts of time checking your work, struggle to delegate, or take responsibility for things that don't necessarily need to be yours to carry.

You might also find it difficult to recognise when something is good enough.

This can mean that there is always another task to complete or another way you could have done something better.

For some people, this creates a pattern where achievement provides only temporary relief before the next expectation appears.

What about saying no?

Setting boundaries can be difficult, particularly if you are used to being reliable, helpful or available to other people.

You might worry about disappointing someone, being seen as difficult or letting people down.

As a result, you might agree to things even when your time and energy are already stretched. Learning to recognise your limits and communicate them clearly can be an important part of reducing ongoing stress.

This doesn't mean saying no to everything or becoming less caring towards other people. It means finding a balance that allows you to consider your own needs alongside your responsibilities to others.

How can CBT help with stress and burnout?

CBT can help you understand the relationship between your circumstances, thoughts, emotions and behaviours.

Together, we can explore what is contributing to your stress and what may be keeping the cycle going.

This might include looking at:

• The demands currently placed on you

• How you respond when you feel under pressure

• Expectations and standards you set for yourself

• Patterns of perfectionism

• Difficulty setting boundaries

• Thoughts about productivity, responsibility or failure

• Avoidance and procrastination

• How you use your time

• Opportunities for rest and recovery

• Activities that give you a sense of meaning or enjoyment

The aim isn't to suggest that everything can be solved by changing your thinking.

Sometimes the demands you're facing are genuinely excessive. Therapy can help you identify what is within your control, consider what needs to change and develop ways of responding to difficult circumstances that are more sustainable.

Does dealing with burnout mean I need to quit my job?

Not necessarily.

Sometimes the circumstances contributing to burnout do need to change. This might involve adjustments at work, clearer boundaries, changes in workload or seeking appropriate support.

But therapy doesn't have to be about making a major life decision. It can provide space to understand what is happening and consider your options without making decisions when you're already feeling overwhelmed.

Where appropriate, this might include thinking about what you can change yourself and what may require conversations with your employer, colleagues, family or other sources of support.

How do I know when it's time to seek help?

You don't need to wait until you feel completely overwhelmed.

It may be worth considering support if stress is beginning to affect your:

• Sleep

• Mood

• Relationships

• Work

• Physical health

• Ability to switch off

• Enjoyment of everyday life

You might also benefit from support if you feel as though you've tried to slow down but keep falling back into the same patterns.

The earlier you recognise these patterns, the easier it may be to make changes before they become more established.

Take the first step

Feeling exhausted doesn't mean that you're failing or that you simply need to try harder.

Sometimes the most useful step is to understand why you keep pushing yourself beyond your limits and what is making it difficult to stop.

CBT can provide a structured and collaborative way to explore these patterns and work towards a more sustainable balance between your responsibilities, wellbeing and the things that matter to you.

I offer CBT for stress and burnout in Guildford, Godalming and Farnham, as well as online therapy for adults throughout the UK.

If you'd like to explore whether therapy could be helpful for you, you can book a free 15-minute initial consultation.